Attachment Issues...

I knew it was only a matter of time before this happened (again).

Now that I've been here almost seven weeks, I've formed some really strong relationships with many of the kids at the orphanage. I constantly look forward to my afternoons there. My girls group is beginning to solidify and I have my "regulars" that wait for me to sit and do homework or just chat (I use the term "chat" loosely, its more of a sign language show). A few weeks ago I wrote about how impressed I was with the actual compound itself, but now its the children there that inspire me. They are the most respectful, thoughtful and loving children I have ever encountered. Additionally, I'm struck by their openness. For example, I've only known Blanca (see picture) about 4 weeks (she's in my girls group and just about to finish 6th grade). We sit and talk about boys and relationships and then food and sports as if we've known one another for years. Her younger sister takes so much pleasure in teasing me about my accent but still never fails to come and give me that most amazing hugs every time I see her. And then there is Bryan and Chepa (who's real name is Jose Carlos). They are both 14, which normally is such an awkward age for boys but every afternoon we sit and do homework together and talk about music. Bryan is a really talented guitar player (see video) and loves to talk really really fast in Spanish to throw me off. And Chepa who is this tough guy actually ran to me when I walked through the front gates the other day (granted he needed help with math homework) we've formed this friendship. And of course my baby, Carlos, he's eight and we bonded when me made me "la boca" from newspaper. Its a puppet mouth out and play that its eating the other person. Mom, Dad, I'm bringing him home.

What is universal regardless of the age or nature of the relationship, I've found, is this unconditional love. It's just given without hesitation. The hugs, the kisses, the way they sit just a bit closer than they someone normally would (or on your lap) ready to give love and affection. When someone shares with you, the only thing you want to do is give it back tenfold and that is why I've already lost this battle with my own heart. I will leave a big piece of it here when I return to the US in a few weeks.

Imagine if adults could love as unconditionally, without inhibition, without that guarding of the heart, how much lovelier life would be.

In the book I'm reading by Paulo Coelho now the main character writes, "I figured that anyone who learns to conquer her heart, can conquer the world". In fact I think quite the opposite, I've clearly never been one to control my emotions well and when I leave those gates in the afternoon, I'm sure that I can do anything.

p.s. In the picture with Bryan and the guitar- I'm living the Sound of Music!!! haha

p.s.s. Kenzie, if you're reading this- email me! I miss hearing from you. mshertlein@gmail.com